Here Comes The Governor Of Abuja

Come, sebi you said you know Nigerian politics in and out, ngwanu, tell me, who is the governor of Lagos State? Ok, yes, Ambode, you got it right. Chai, that his campaign jingle is still ringing in my ear… Amboooo, Ambo! See, 2019, there will be no contest in Lagos; it will be waterslide victory lol.

Oya, who is the governor of Kaduna State? Gbam, iji ya, Nasir El’Rufai; odi nkenke eme ile 1 of Nigeria! The man, who subjected the entire teachers in Kaduna State to an exam that exposed the level of wrath in our educational system; and the teachers were even defending the fact that they couldn’t score average? Odi egwu.

Ok, you are showing yourself abi? Oya, tell me, who is governor of Imo State? Did I hear you say Okoro Hausa? Nna, afo taagi mmili o. But you are not even current sef. Oh yes, you are still living in the past. Okorocha has a new name, Akpuola Gi 1 of Igbo land lol. Dede, akpuola gi? Hahahahaha. 

Hmmmm, I see you are proving to be bookworm okwa ya? Ngwanu, tell me, who is the governor of Abuja? Ehen, oya na, sebi you too sabi; oka mmuta, answer me! Buhari ke? Pa Bubu is the president of Nigeria biko, iti bolibo. Ngwanu, osetigo, tell me. My friend, stop beating about the bush, if you don’t know it, just surrender and let me tell you. Hahahaha, you see yourself? You want to know the governor of Abuja abi? Oya, listen.

If I ask you now how many governors we have in Nigeria, you will say 36, but that’s not the correct answer; it’s 39! Mba, mba, I don’t want your blind argument, gee m nti. Actually, we used to have 38 governors until recently when the new one came to be. You want me to explain that? Ngwa, how much will you pay? My friend nothing is free even in Freetown, how much will you pay for this piece of knowledge?

Well, as an old friend, let me just give it to you. Yes, the fact that we have 36 states in Nigeria automatically means we have 36 governors. Now, if you add the governor of Central Bank of Nigeria; that makes it 37, abi? Ok, add our own governor of Niteshift Coliseum, Gov. Ken Caleb Olumese, is that not 38? Nwokem, stop nodding you head like lizard biko.

Now, do you know the governor of Abuja? He’s no other person than governor Yahaya Bello of Kogi State; he’s occupying two offices. In fact, the way he’s going, I have a feeling the man practically lives in Abuja now instead of Lokoja his tradition seat of power. And with 2019 heating up, it will get worse. So, aside from being the governor of Kogi State, Bello has also assumed the governor of Abuja. Sometime, you wonder how the guy is administering his state when he’s always in Abuja, laughing upandan like Okowa, Justin Akpovi’s governor lol.

Have you noticed that any time you hear fim in Abuja, Bello is there. If Pa Bubu wants to pray, Bello is there. If Pa Bubu wants to go to Mosque, Bello is with him. If Pa Bubu wants to visit family members, Bello is there. If it’s ordinary family meeting, Bello is there. Ok, ordinary Yufu Buhari returned from medical trip abroad and this same Bello left his state and became the chief host… is he really that jobless? Now I understand why my big brother Shaibu Husseini is always vexing for Bello. But really, how can you lead a people, when you are always out of town? And this is the man trying to recall senator Dino Melaye? Nna, ya jee zue ike; they are the same ten and 10 kobo.

But wait o, I have a feeling that Yahaya Bello believes his second term bid depends entirely on Buhari running for 2019. Oh yes, after all, the way the guy came to power di very imilimious. Really, if not for the sudden death of Abubaka Audu, I doubt if people like Yahaya Bello would ever smell Kogi Government House, for where, except he’s coming as oti nkpu. Honestly, I’m yet to see exactly what this dude has done for his people. Biko, forget his long list of SAs, SSAs and PAs, that’s not an achievement biko. We are talking of tangible project; ya mee ife ana afu anya jare.

But on a serious note, with a Gov. like Yahaya Bello, you won’t blame anybody that says Nigerian youths are not ready for leadership. At a time when my generation is clamouring for a change in the politics of Nigeria, someone, who was lucky to become governor at 40 is busy playing ludo with the golden opportunity? Confuse ga di ma my brother.

Ok, why didn’t he tell us he loves junketing around? Sebi we should have given him Minister for Tourism, instead of adding that extra burden on Lai ‘Lai’ Mohammed? In fact, Bello should have been appointed Buhari’s PA on domestic affair jare; let him kuku help dress Mr President’s bed and even shine his shoes.

Like I’ve always told those who care to listen, we need to live above party politics and look for credible Nigerians to lead this nation. Some of these character holding public officer today, nna, onwero if fa chi; fonfoju akpa! We have to be very through in choosing our leaders; si pia aka api!

But wait o, sebi oga Shaibu Hussini is from Kogi sef? Biko, Igalaman, come and rescue your people; let Bello kuku stay as the Governor Abuja. Able CJ, Kogi 2023 is possible.